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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Sweet Defeat

Ok...So I didn't get to the end of my powerful novel as planned for this month... Today marks the official end of Nanowrimo's National Writing Month Contest and sadly I am not a winner... Or am I?

Yes, there were obstacles along the way..including a computer crash-my home computer to be exact -and yes, I didn't even get to the 10% mark of my 50,000 word goal (I think I'm just short of 5,000 words), and no, sadly there will be no Nanowrimo Winner's Banner on my profile...But, I did, however, gain a great deal of things to feel good about...

Like:

I learned a lot! -

I learned I really can write a novel (which I thought I couldn't) if I really put my mind to it. Even today, my characters haunt me and prod me to keep writing.

I learned I am not as organized and efficient as I thought I was and I could use some extra help in the area of self- discipline...LOL.

I learned I am addicted to the computer and not necessarily in good ways (I am a game and Instant Messenger freak).

I learned I am not as productive at night as I thought I was...I write best during light hours or early evening hours.

I learned to take it easy... at first I was freaked out about not reaching my target, but then I realized there's a time to freak out and a time to re-evaluate...I re-evaluated.

I learned my children are not only very supportive of me, but they are aspiring writers, as well.

I learned its not as easy to motivate your friends as it may seem as first...and its not as easy for your friends to motivate you as you'd like to believe.

Plus:

I now have the beginnings of a novel I can be proud of and I actually began to write it...not someday...but today!

I know I'm going to do it again next year!(God willing)

Old flames have been rekindled this month and fanning them has been just as much fun as writing(wish us luck!)

Many thanks to Nanowrimo for this Opportunity! And a special "shout-out" to my girl Soulflower, she's the one that encouraged this crazy trip!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

"Step into my Parlor", said the Spider...

All too often I find myself in the throws of what appears to be depression. While true, I do not get depressed as often as I did when I was younger, I do still feel as though I am either depressed or getting there rapidly.

I’m realizing however that my depression is a web of my own design, made up of an intricate weave of insecurity, doubt and fear. No one else can give those things to you- you have create them for yourself. Unfortunately this week I have found myself a willing participant in the design of my own destruction.

My web, which keeps me, as webs should, paralyzed and in a state of hopelessness is growing daily and has been for the last two weeks or more. Just like any web, it was hard to see at first, but as it grew I was all too aware that I have entered into dangerous territory.

So I’m stuck, temporarily I hope, at home, at work, in my personal life and now in my writing. It’s been two days. While I should have used this time to write for my novel, I needed to release that which is impeding my progress…me.

A moment of prayer...if, you will…
Lord, I surrender to you, I release myself to your care and to a plan of your design. You know the ultimate plan for me. I willingly surrender to your flow and make you, once again, master over every area of my life. I know you will set me free. Amen.

Amen! …I feel loosed already…

Thursday, November 03, 2005

A Break...

In an uncharacteristic move..I shall break from posting( or at the very least sloooowwww down) during the month of November, since I will concentrating on writing my book "Butterflies Are Free".

For those of you that are writers and are interested in joining me, my children, and several thousand writers around the world during the month of November...check out www.nanowrimo.org and sign-up!

If not...I could always use encouraging words!

See you next month...I hope

Monday, October 31, 2005

POETRY - What does depression look like?

Heavy Thoughts

Words, like boulders
Laid heavy on my mind
Tried as I might
To lift them
& drop them on the page
I couldn’t
There were too many
Too close together
Forming a mountain of thoughts
Too high
For my spirit to climb
And although I was weak
I began the ascent
and took on the insurmountable task
Of breaking it down
‘till I laid my heavy head down
And the images began to build
bit by bit
like sands through an hourglass
they filled my mind
& when I could not hold
one more thought
my eyelids closed
and I crashed to the bottom
in despair




©Aida Correa 2004

Thursday, October 27, 2005

POETRY - Soul Satisfying Sex

Soul Satisfying Sex

Sex can satisfy the body...but what of the soul?

Sex with someone you love
That loves you
Is soul satisfying…

Soul satisfying sex
Satisfies your body and soul
Souls satisfying sex lingers
It stays inside of you
Its satisfies
Even when it’s over
Its there
Even when you’re apart
The memory of it
Bring you both back to together
And you recall
The ecstasy
That is soul satisfying sex
Flesh satisfying sex
Leaves you wanting more
Like Chinese food
30 minutes later
And you’re still hungry
When your soul is satisfied
You can still imagine your lover
Surrounding you with his/her essence
You can feel their breath
You can “see” them
Looking into your eyes
You can “hear” them whisper
I love you
And you can “feel” their release
As you say
I love you, too


©Aida Correa 2005

Friday, October 21, 2005

ART - Wounded Woman Series III


She is saying "I am a delicate flower" - there is laughter in the background...

©copyright 2004 Aida Correa

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

POETRY - Star Crossed Lovers

Star Crossed Lovers


You and I were not meant to be
Two star-crossed lovers
Hoping for the chance at real love
The emotions are there
& I believe they are real
or, at least,
as real as they can be

We don’t share the same interests
And we don’t talk…really
Yea we joke and kid around
But honestly
I have plenty of friends for that

As many times as I try to tell you
Let’s be friends
You tell me you want more
But I’m afraid
That more with me
Will be too much for you

‘Cause you see
I want a man
That puts me first in his life
I don’t want to be
the “Afterthought”
You kno,
The thing you think about doing
after you do everything else

And you can say
As many times as you’d like
In as many ways as you’d like
That you don’t feel that way about me

But your actions speak louder
Than any words
That could ever
Leave your lips




©Aida Correa 2000

Monday, October 17, 2005

POETRY - Wanna Play?

Cat & Mouse


Purring,
I share with you
Deep thoughts and profound wisdom
But the sound

Is too much
For you little ears to handle...
So you run
Like a scared little mouse
Into your private hole
Making sure not to come around
While the cats still out




©Aida Correa 2004

Friday, October 14, 2005

POETRY - A Sea of Thoughts...

Thoughts flood my mind
Like rushing waters
Of white water rapids
Thrashing inside my brain
Faster and faster
Unstopping
Never ending
Dangerously
Bringing me to the point
of mental exhaustion
I shake
Like a crack fiend looking for a hit
Looking for anything to escape this ride
Maybe I can walk it off
Maybe I can dance it off
Damn!
Can I scream off!!?
Something!
Anything!
Make them stop
They keep coming
Wave upon wave
One no sooner finishes
Before the next one comes
Can’t anyone see this?
Don’t you see me?
Save me!
I'm about to go under
And drown
…In my own thoughts




©Aida Correa 2003

Thursday, October 13, 2005

POETRY -The Poem That Never Ends...

Life is a circle without a point,
but everyone looks for a point
but there is no point
because
Life is a circle without a point...



©Aida Marie Correa 2002

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

POETRY - Daydream ..




Daydream

When was the last time
I laid out on a carpet of grass
To inhale the fresh breeze
or to stop and look up at the clouds?


….

Stopping to stare up at the clouds
doesn’t come as easy as it used to
too many distractions on the earth
to take the time to look at the sky

the “mommy can you”s
and the “honey will you”s
distract me from my daydreams
then there’s the bosses lists
the grocery lists

the laundry piles
and the don’t forget this
and then all of the cooking and the cleaning
oh and don’t forget the bills!

But once…
Just as I was running to catch a train
God caught me instead

Because there before me was the most beautiful sky
I had ever seen
And I had no choice
But to stop
And stare
And daydream…





©Aida Correa 1993

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Monday, October 10, 2005

Poetry - A Gift - For the Love of Love & Salsa

**the following was a gift from a talented poet and writer...
Thank you..wherever you are

that is why I love to dance...

it forces two strangers
to face each other at close quarters
and at least on the level of motion
become one without instruction
without words
she is lead by subtle changes in my grasp of her hand
by the direction and flow of my body
hers is the most difficult role to learn
she receives direction from someone she has never met
and his is less difficult
he can impulsively guide her to where he wants her to be
but before he can be rewarded for that captainship
he has to learn the responsibility that comes with it
she is looking over his shoulder
and he over hers
facing each other
he must see what is behind her
and since he is the leader
must protect them both from collision
by guiding her into a safe space
and she must trust him to do that
and the result is
beauty and harmony in motion

Saturday, October 08, 2005

POETRY - On The Stealing of Poems...

To Copyright or not...

"On the stealing of Poems"

Understand that a poem
Is baby borne to the poet

(each one is sacred)
And just like a baby -
It is a part of the mother/father whole

(like God’s creation this makes them sacred)
Some poems are born between the lips & their life force flows out

(energy is scared)
Some are born between the fingers , through the writers pen -
Their life force sticking solidly to paper

(the written word is sacred)
Some are born with out pain

(& yet they are sacred)
Some are born from days months - Even years of strife

(but still they were given life, which makes them sacred)
Some will become stars
& some
will slip silently into obscurity

(but all are sacred)

So understand
That when a poet shares with you
This is a part of themselves
They give it freely
It is a gift
No need to steal
And that my friend

…is sacred





©Aida Correa 2003



Friday, October 07, 2005

POETRY - The Next level

I did It

I did it
Yes its done
Scratch off yet another one
Call it a test
Or just another task
But somehow
I made it past
The undeniable fears
I thought would last


I’m stronger now
Than I was b4
And now I know
I can do even more
Because I did it
Now its done
Scratch off yet another one



©Aida Correa 2004

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

POETRY - "Go Boldly Forth"

Go Boldly Forth


There comes a time
When another self- help book
Will be inept
When positive affirmations
From feel-good gurus
Will have no effect
When another
“you can do it”
Just won’t do
Because now its time
For you
To do for YOU
Take the advice
You have gleaned
through the years
and the experience
you have gathered
beyond the tears
and GO Boldly Forth!!
Just do your thing
Raise yourself up
Let them hear YOU sing!
GO Boldly Forth, now!!
Don’t be shy
It’s Your time, now
DO or Die!
No more sleeping
Time passed while you slept
But reality promises
Your dreams are kept
Go Boldly forth now
It’s your time to shine
You’ve got the power
And it’s about time!!




©Aida Correa 2001

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

POETRY - Silence Kills

Smokin’

Chokin on my silence
I just smoke it all away
Thoughts try to overtake me
But I just blow them all away
Seems too much to handle
So I’ll just leave it 4 another day
Choking on my silence
I just smoke it all away





©Aida Correa 2004

Monday, October 03, 2005

POETRY - A Poetry Reading

In honor of my first Poetry Reading
…First Thursday at the Ritz…




I was inspired as
Poem after poem
Became Instantaneous Creations
simultaneous explosions
of Twisted words
forming in my head

nouns and verbs
Spontaneously undulating
Shaping & forming

combining
into creative expressions
of rhythmic flow

They moved so fast…
I could hardly catch them
And put them on paper

Freedom!!
They cried as I freed each one

Freedom!!...
they cried as each one released its expression

Freedom!! Their war cry!!
Freedom!! Their Destiny!!

They were finally Free!

Freed to the world
Freed to the universe
And they finally ...Freed me





©Aida Correa 2005

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

POETRY - A Gift for a Beautiful Friend....







Soulflower


I am a Soulflower
Searching
Finding myself in the eyes
Of every woman

I am a Soulflower
Reaching
Higher than the ground
Were I was planted
A treasure for all to see
No longer
A hidden seed

I am a Soulflower
Teaching
Through beauty
And words…Spoken
Until the day
They’re all pulled
from my blossom
revealing my soul


©Aida Correa 2005



Monday, September 26, 2005

POETRY - The Struggle

Dam!…that man - Part I

She was nearly done
She had primped and preened
for this very moment
Every feather finally in place
She was now ready to face the great unknown

Eyes to the heavens
She spread her wings
And took flight
Soaring higher
Wings outstretched as far as they could go
Her heart raced from excitement
As the anticipation of cool wind
Lifted her &
Filled her inner being


Higher and higher she went
Soaring

as the Fresh breeze of freedom surrounded her
as the scent of a new day and great adventures awaited her


Then….
BOOM!
suddenly … she stopped
As if a weight were quickly pulling her down
She struggled but to no avail…

Dam...that man!





©Aida Correa 2005

Thursday, September 15, 2005

POETRY - Dedicated to you....Wherever you are...

Friend

I was the one you would turn to
When your world was turned
upside-down
But now
You’re never around
And you leave me
On the outside
Waiting
Contemplating

I thought I was
Your best friend
The one on whom
You could depend
You said we’d fight this fight
Till the bitter end
So I can’t comprehend
Why when I extend myself
You don’t turn back
You say it’s cause you don’t know how to act
And you didn’t know how
I’d react
But it seems to me
You can’t face the fact
That I’m always your friend…



©Aida Correa 2005

Monday, September 12, 2005

POETRY - Why I Don't Write

Sometimes We Need Silly to Lighten the Mood...

Why don’t I write


Laziness overtakes me
Time and time again
Or I lose my pen
Or I can’t find my book
(but then again
I didn’t really bother to look)
or I think
I’ll remember that
That rhyme is soo phat
But you can bet
That I’ll soon forget
To put that pen to paper
& those words
that were so fresh & new
become a part of an endless stew
of ideas
for my mind to once again sort through
& I get frustrated
because thoughts once easy
become more complicated
and they don’t seem to vibe as
when they were first stated
then I struggle
to recapture that flow
As I remember
To have to go
so...I put down my pen
To only lose it once again




©Aida Correa 2005

Sunday, September 11, 2005

POETRY - Dedicated to the Lost...

Water Rising

Water rises
As I reach my hand to the sun
Arms widely spread
Knowing my time may have come
But I’m not giving up
Not now
Not for anyone
I’ll keep fighting
Till this thing is done

Waters higher now
as I see flashes of light and fire now
And darkness hides the sun
My body’s tired
but I can see
As my spirit
Rises above the trees

All’s blackness
I will get past this
As my life flashes before me
Sounds of laughter
Either in this life
Or in the hereafter
But there is no natural disaster
that can master my spirit

caught in the currents
I remember I’ve ridden
Harder waves before
And I’ve been at death’s door
But no more
Today is my day for sure
And whether you hear my name
Whispered in your ear
Or shouted from a mountain top
Be sure that I never stopped striving
And I fought
Till the end





©Aida Correa 2005

Saturday, September 10, 2005

POETRY - "RUN!"

For the Commitment Shy...

Run!




So you're scared of me?
Well I'm scared, too
So I'll tell you what we're gonna do-

Run!

You run this way
and I'll run that…and don't look back

Just run!

And soon we we'll run so far from each other
we'll never know the bliss we could have shared
Had we not been so scared
we had to run



©Aida Correa 2004

Friday, September 09, 2005

POETRY - Sweet Confessions

No more Cookies for Me

No more cookies for me
No thank you

No more delicious
Double dipped chocolate chip
golden brownie, chocolate chunky
with Crunch on the out side & creamy middles
You know the kind that make my toes curl?
Those get me in trouble every time

No more melt in your mouth
Rainbow, Peanut butter, Sweet as sugar,
Oatmeal raisin, or claiming to be good for you pecan sandies
Now you know that’s a lie…

And don’t you try to substitute them with no vanilla wafers, either
Cause those just won’t do

No more cookies for me
No thank you

Besides…Didn’t none of them do me any good anyway




©Aida Correa 2005

Thursday, September 08, 2005

POETRY - Eturnally

Eturnally

Please understand
you are still
My black knight
My moonlight
My guiding light
In the midst of midnight
You see me
You Guide me
You take me places
No one else dare
And you share
Every part of you
with me
Your Light shines through me
Revealing me
To myself
Thoughts I never knew I had
Good and Bad
You open me up
Filling my cup
Constantly
With your energy

Cant you see
You are still my midnight sun
The illuminated one
SAGE eternal
“Seeing Angels
Gaining enlightenment”
My spiritual nourishment
But I am still hungry
Greedy
Feed me
Eturnally




©Aida Correa 2002

Thursday, August 25, 2005

POETRY - Poets Inspire Poets...

How smooth is this?
(inspired by “How Smooth am I?” by Allen “The Chef”)


How smooth, smooth, smooth am I….
How smooth, smooth, smooth am I….
How smooth, smooth, smooth am I….

How smooth am I?...So smooth I’m slick…

Slicker than any slickster
The former mistress of the ultimate trickster
I learned much
From my former Mr.
So now I bring wisdom
so no one else can trick ya

I know all the tricks
From every Mick and Nick
I’m not your average chick
Or some local hick
& just because I’m thick
don’t think I’m quick

I’m just smoother than smooth
So smooth
I’m slick!



©Aida Correa 2005

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

POETRY - Beautiful Orchid


Beautiful Orchid

Exotic Wild flower
lips bright red, hot
reminding you of sandy beaches
& exotic places

Slowly she moves
swaying,
sashaying across the floor
as if ancient drums
ordered her footsteps

You watch her
wondering
who is this beautiful orchid-
And is she ready
to be plucked?





©Aida Correa 2005

ART - "AY MAMI!" (sold - prints available)

©Aida Correa 2005

Monday, August 22, 2005

POETRY - "I am the Woman"

I am the Woman

I am the woman
that for the last year has done her best to love you
but you're so steeped in your own mess
That I neva kno when the next test
of my love is coming
and I'm not running...

but I am running out of steam

because we were supposed to be a team
but when all is said and done
we're a team of one

see...I am your one woman RA-RA section
not to mention
I'm still on the court holding the ball
I try to throw it back but you react
As if to say you don't want to play anyway
and when I try to walk away
you convince me to stay
saying "baby -you know how it is when you get busy"
my head gets dizzy...
so I resign one more time
to love this love of mine
but inevitably
it's clear to see
that this love requires more energy
than is in me





©Aida Correa 2005

Saturday, August 06, 2005

POETRY - No more waiting...

Call

Why would he want to?
To risk a fight?
To listen to the sound of indifference
From the one who professes
love and caring?

To risk the feeling that comes
When silence becomes…
Deafening?

Really…
Why should he call?
When he no longer feels he knows
The woman on the other end?



©Aida Correa 2003

Monday, August 01, 2005

POETRY - "The Wrenn"

The Wrenn

Soft and sexy kisses
Remind me of times
When I was almost
Your Mrs.
Wrapped in
Sweet and Joyful splendor
Days filled with laughter
Nights, so tender
Talking about everything
Building ‘til the day

we exchange wedding rings

I was your ma
And you was my papi
Side by side
Couldn’t nuthin’ stop me
I felt like
The invincible one
Standing there in the light
Of your sun

& I knew I was with a king, alright
- I felt it every time
We took it down for the night





©Aida Correa 2005

Thursday, July 28, 2005

POETRY - "Bus Stop"

BUS STOP

Standing at the bus stop
Still waiting for your bus
It left some time ago
you never said to wait for it
& you didn’t promise it would be back
and yet…here I am
standing
waiting
wishing
hoping it will be here soon

I’ve been offered rides
Many times
From pintos to grand Cadillacs
I took a ride in one once
You know the kind I like
Chrome wheels, plush interior
Bumping sound off a smoooooth ride
But it was all show
Nothing like yours
Comfortable enough for all your baggage
And mine
Besides it wasn’t even his to share with me
So he had to bring me back to my stop
Where I still stand
…and wait
For your bus




©Aida Correa 2004

Friday, July 08, 2005

POETRY - "Cypher"

A Day in "the Life"...

Cypher

Woke up the other mornin’
Just as day was dawnin’
Stretching and a yawning
Bemoaning what life could be unfolding

These streets are ever molding
Burning my spirit
Like hot water scalding
I never know
What the next corner’s holding

But Striving
I keep growing
Showing my worth
With words always flowing
Just like a cipher
I keep it rolling

Keepin’ it goin’

‘cause
Down these streets
It’s on and poppin’
Movin’ past hustlers and players
with barrels always cocking
this lifestyle
some consider shocking
but I’ll keep playing
‘till I win neva stopping…..
then I’m out…..(echo)




©Aida Correa 2004

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

POETRY - "Pretty Ugly"

"Pretty Ugly"

It’s what happened when
You were younger and
You thought you were
So unattractive
That you asked-
“Why don’t boys think I’m pretty
Instead of saying how nice I am?”

But then you grew up…

Now boys do think you’re cute
Very, very cute
So you start doing that coy little hard to get thing
And they keep coming
And you keep running

now you find yourself asking
“Why can’t they notice me as a person
and not just a pretty face?”



©Aida Correa 2003

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

ART- "Mami De la Playa"

©Aida Correa 2003

POETRY - "She"

Do you know her?...

She



Lonely days
Followed by lonelier nights
Seeking commitment in those
She knows
Can’t provide it
She’s scared too
But she tries hard to hide it

As she begins her search
For her own worth…

Longing for affection she seeks it in the wrong places
Turning to empty faces
Void of what she wants
And she flaunts
That which should be saved for another
And not given to every other
Hoping that they can’t see
that inside
she longs to be free.
Free from a life of sin
but she doesn’t spend enough time turning within.

And every time she thinks she’s found
Something sound
She realizes it’s not what she needs
So she just feeds
Off of the attention.

and when one doesn’t give her time
She goes back to last in line
But still… she feels empty inside

So she leaves feeling hurt
And wonders was it worth
the tremendous pain she feels?

So she tries hard to stay
even though it’s the same ‘ole way
She’s done things before...


She claims!
this time will be her last!
But she just can’t seem to get past
Her inner longings
and because she knows it isn’t right
so she tries feebly to fight
but, still
she just can’t seem to stop herself


Knowing that she should know better
She prays that God will let her
Get it right this time

“Oh Father”, her heart tries to shout
“help me get this spirit out”
but she feels she cries out in vain
because things appear to
remain the same
but then she calls out HIS name
until the peace comes
and they are One



©copyright 2004 Aida Correa

Monday, July 04, 2005

POETRY - Sigh*...to be loved

We were in love...

spending days and nights
locked in surreal splendor
under a sweet spell
as words poured from the telephone
into the gateway of our ears -
penetrating our hearts

sigh*
day and night
night and day

not a day would pass without a word from my love
there were no harsh words
only "misunderstandings"
every difficult moment
smoothed over...
soft words and floating kisses
soothed any stings

sigh*
day and night
night and day

my heart fluttered
at the sound of the ring tone
selected especially for him
my love is calling....
my love is calling....
is all I'd hear

and call he did
day after wonderful day
night after glorious night

until we met
and finally succumbed
to the rush of emotions
that ultimately
drowned us both

sigh*



©Aida Correa 2005

Thursday, June 23, 2005

POETRY - Tale of an Insomniac

Tale of an Insomniac

Sleep creeps up on me
Night after night
Trying, gently
to seduce me
Coaxing my eyelids down
As other body parts
join the nightly ritual

my mouth and lungs
join forces in a symphony
of deep breathing
and loud yawning

yet, despite all of sleeps attempts
to take my breath away
trying desperately to force me to surrender

I fight

Like a child
Believing that surrender may mean
Something grand will happen
the minute I close my eyes

I fight…

Knowing my morning ritual
will be the opposite of my nightly one;
Sleep will be attempting to leave
And I will be begging it stay
Promising to succumb
To tonight’s seduction
If it will just sooth me
For 5 more minutes….




©Aida Correa 2003

Friday, June 17, 2005

Poetry - A Gift - Latina Pheonix

up
from the earth
she comes
from the dirt
she comes
emerges
spotless and pure
holding truth in one hand
vision in the other
she rises
the rose that grew
from adversity
against all odds
not by chance
or circumstance
she blooms
and reaches for the Son
touching him with fingertips
on tiptoes
joyful
she is
a Phoenix Rising





***A gift...from Soulflower

©A Soulflower Productions 2005