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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

"Step into my Parlor", said the Spider...

All too often I find myself in the throws of what appears to be depression. While true, I do not get depressed as often as I did when I was younger, I do still feel as though I am either depressed or getting there rapidly.

I’m realizing however that my depression is a web of my own design, made up of an intricate weave of insecurity, doubt and fear. No one else can give those things to you- you have create them for yourself. Unfortunately this week I have found myself a willing participant in the design of my own destruction.

My web, which keeps me, as webs should, paralyzed and in a state of hopelessness is growing daily and has been for the last two weeks or more. Just like any web, it was hard to see at first, but as it grew I was all too aware that I have entered into dangerous territory.

So I’m stuck, temporarily I hope, at home, at work, in my personal life and now in my writing. It’s been two days. While I should have used this time to write for my novel, I needed to release that which is impeding my progress…me.

A moment of prayer...if, you will…
Lord, I surrender to you, I release myself to your care and to a plan of your design. You know the ultimate plan for me. I willingly surrender to your flow and make you, once again, master over every area of my life. I know you will set me free. Amen.

Amen! …I feel loosed already…

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