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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Sweet Defeat

Ok...So I didn't get to the end of my powerful novel as planned for this month... Today marks the official end of Nanowrimo's National Writing Month Contest and sadly I am not a winner... Or am I?

Yes, there were obstacles along the way..including a computer crash-my home computer to be exact -and yes, I didn't even get to the 10% mark of my 50,000 word goal (I think I'm just short of 5,000 words), and no, sadly there will be no Nanowrimo Winner's Banner on my profile...But, I did, however, gain a great deal of things to feel good about...


I learned a lot! -

I learned I really can write a novel (which I thought I couldn't) if I really put my mind to it. Even today, my characters haunt me and prod me to keep writing.

I learned I am not as organized and efficient as I thought I was and I could use some extra help in the area of self- discipline...LOL.

I learned I am addicted to the computer and not necessarily in good ways (I am a game and Instant Messenger freak).

I learned I am not as productive at night as I thought I was...I write best during light hours or early evening hours.

I learned to take it easy... at first I was freaked out about not reaching my target, but then I realized there's a time to freak out and a time to re-evaluate...I re-evaluated.

I learned my children are not only very supportive of me, but they are aspiring writers, as well.

I learned its not as easy to motivate your friends as it may seem as first...and its not as easy for your friends to motivate you as you'd like to believe.


I now have the beginnings of a novel I can be proud of and I actually began to write it...not someday...but today!

I know I'm going to do it again next year!(God willing)

Old flames have been rekindled this month and fanning them has been just as much fun as writing(wish us luck!)

Many thanks to Nanowrimo for this Opportunity! And a special "shout-out" to my girl Soulflower, she's the one that encouraged this crazy trip!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

"Step into my Parlor", said the Spider...

All too often I find myself in the throws of what appears to be depression. While true, I do not get depressed as often as I did when I was younger, I do still feel as though I am either depressed or getting there rapidly.

I’m realizing however that my depression is a web of my own design, made up of an intricate weave of insecurity, doubt and fear. No one else can give those things to you- you have create them for yourself. Unfortunately this week I have found myself a willing participant in the design of my own destruction.

My web, which keeps me, as webs should, paralyzed and in a state of hopelessness is growing daily and has been for the last two weeks or more. Just like any web, it was hard to see at first, but as it grew I was all too aware that I have entered into dangerous territory.

So I’m stuck, temporarily I hope, at home, at work, in my personal life and now in my writing. It’s been two days. While I should have used this time to write for my novel, I needed to release that which is impeding my progress…me.

A moment of prayer...if, you will…
Lord, I surrender to you, I release myself to your care and to a plan of your design. You know the ultimate plan for me. I willingly surrender to your flow and make you, once again, master over every area of my life. I know you will set me free. Amen.

Amen! …I feel loosed already…

Thursday, November 03, 2005

A Break...

In an uncharacteristic move..I shall break from posting( or at the very least sloooowwww down) during the month of November, since I will concentrating on writing my book "Butterflies Are Free".

For those of you that are writers and are interested in joining me, my children, and several thousand writers around the world during the month of November...check out and sign-up!

If not...I could always use encouraging words!

See you next month...I hope